Mismanagement of Berlin H3
Mismanagers of the Berlin HHH - in no particular order (click the bitch for details)
BEER BITCH
This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty cases between the On-On and On-On-On. This job requires a strong back and a weak mind.
GRAND MASTER
The Head (who said that? I'll have some of that!) man. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The guiding light. Gispert’s legacy. He leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through his officers, he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all...
Head (who said that? I'll have some of that!)
HASH CASH
The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have over-spent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds. However, procurements may only be made with the consent of the other officers.
HASH FLASH
The person who captures on film for posterity all embarrassing hash moments. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.
SCRIBE
This position is the masochist’s dream. He struggles with piles of papers, miles of computer wire, and attempts to occasionally produce a Hash Trash to keep the hash members reasonably informed. The Scribe also maintains the hash membership data base and publishes the Hare and Hound Directory. Boring stuff to say the least.
WEBABUSER
He is the BHHH official representative on the Internet maintaining the Web Site, eMail lists and other such nonsense. He has more of a virtual existence than a real life. King of the bits, queen of the bytes.
SONG BITCH
This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.) A Ghost Writer wanting but failing to stay anonymous.
RELIGIOUS ADVISOR
Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. He is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash. Needs a licence to be nuts.
HASH QUACK
Mismanagement member in charge of administering first aid to injured hashers, last rites included. Due to definition any living being on hash trail is a hasher. That means he’s responsible for both human, non-human and inhuman hashers. Due to the peculiar nature of the Berlin HHH, ou Hash Quack get’s to do the odd Quack on the Hotline: He’s responsible for the text on the answering machine.
HASH SHIT
Responsible for the Hash (Sh)it No Blobs
HABERDASHER
Responsible for all those things we stick on ourselves and our attire. Coordinated closely with Hash Cash, she or he buys (produces) and supplies whistles, adhesives etc. Needs to turn up at every hash or name a representant that is duly "equipped".